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SNL (US) is Not my Friend

Wednesday 14th October 2026

I'm not an idiot. I know how loads (but not all) of this works.

The world is tough, you have to roll with the punches. Stop saying everything is sexist and get on with your work, blah blah. The cool girl approach to getting by, but less often through.

But I still love comedy. And I loved SNL. The longest running, shining beacon; prioritising silliness and satire.

So many of my comedy heroes have come through the ranks of SNL that I had put it on a pedestal. It was the magical place, where the comedy comes from.

But I'm not an idiot. I also understood It's a machine, churning out comedy content. The whole point is that some will fly and some will fail, hit and miss is inevitable; is what makes it exciting. Comedy is about risk. You have to give yourself permission to fail or you can't even do it.

And not every joke is for you, and that's OK. If I don't like a sketch, I think, 'this one's not for me I guess. No harm, no foul.'

And I would defend SNL, when it inevitably came up in comedy conversations. I'd say 'Look, they can't all be gold, it's hit rate is phenomenal, nobody's perfect blah blah.' 

And I could forgive the odd bad call, frustrating though it was, worthy of discussion though it was. 'But look how far we've come, oh that was three years ago? Yes that is bad actually.'

But still, but still, look at all the good things; ground-breaking things. Remember Megan Thee Stallion's iconic performance, when she was a musical guest, and the whole stage lit up with big signs, saying, 'Protect Black women.' That was profound. That felt important.

I'm not an idiot. I know how it looks if you're fine with laughing at the bits that support your world view, then try to complain about the bits you don't like.

And yet, 'bits you don't like' is in a different category to 'bits that are causing active harm in the real world.'

None of the left-leaning jokes that I laugh at are about trying to take rights away from any other groups of people. They're not about dehumanising other groups of people. 

Comedy, for me, is about taking down the bullies. It's carnivalesque. The Fool is King for a day. You punch up, not down. 

Everyone talks about parasocial relationships now. Even though I'm not an idiot, I did have rose tinted glasses on.

I thought this show that I love, that I defended, also had my back. 'I would never have let them say that about you. Why didn't you stick up for me? The way I do for you?'

Why on earth did I think that? Of course SNL is not looking out for me. How could it? It's still a capitalist machine, even though it contained my favourite kind of magic. 

I've had this happen with friends before. The realisation that comes too late, 'Ohhhh. You didn't like me as much as I liked you. Whoops. OK. Got it.'

You think you can still be friends, because of all the good times. But then you start re-thinking those good times. Everything that seemed profound, was that just coincidence? Or luck? Or a good person got to be in charge that day? 

I don't want to stop watching the show that gave me Debbie Downer, Wayne's World, Twin Bed, What's Up With That? Close Encounter, and so many more. 

But that monologue was dangerous. There's stats on this. Researchers showed men sexist jokes and found they reported more willingness to commit rape afterward. The effect was strongest in men who already held hostile views of women. Casually calling us whores, without even the cadence of a joke, gives these men permission. 

This show can't be for me anymore. It can't be for me, while actively trying to diminish my personhood.

I want so much for things to back to the way they were. But I can't stop hearing what you let them say about me. I can't be friends with someone who is also friends with my bullies.

I should have realised, SNL is not my friend. I'm such an idiot.